Jumaat, 29 Jun 2012

Seriously, what can I do?


What can I say? Really, what can I say?

I am a Muslim. A simple Malay girl with a simple life. I'm trying my best to be a better Muslim each day. I cover myself with decent clothes. I do not drink alcohol. I only eat halal food. I have limitation in socializing with men. I have (and need) to pray - perform solah and make du'a - every day. I do not go to clubs. I say my God's name - Allah - every time I speak; insha-Allah - Alhamdulillah - masha-Allah - bismillah - subhanAllah - Assalamualaikum warahmatullah etc. I love to read the Quran, eventhough my Arabic is poor. I prefer to talk about how wonderful life is if we're here living to please Allah, rather than talking about how cool it is to dress like Beyonce or how handsome Johnny Depp is or how proud I am to travel around the globe - just to impress others. I have beautiful hairs too but why do I have to show them off to the whole world? What's the point then? I don't know how to use make ups. I might not have fashion sense. I eat and drink using my right hand because that is what our prophet taught us. And to me, fine dining is fine once in a while but is rather ridiculous if you make it as your life style. Come on, the prophet PBUH ate moderately throughout his whole life, so why bother our standards and class just to impress people and satisfy our silly nafs? The prophet PBUH has been granted a definite place in jannah, you see? Have we? I don't have much money, but I'm living a great life. I'm not using any smart phones. I don't have an iPhone, Samsung Galaxy Tab nor iPad. Are you kidding me? I want them but I don't need them! I only have a Dell notebook my father bought me and a simple express music Nokia I bought using the money I save from tutoring back then in 2010. I don't have a car, that black baby boy I've been using for years paid by my wonderful father. Yeah, I love to sing and play music too, but only to certain extend. Islam teaches me to be moderate so I know my boundaries when I play music and sing. Yes of course I love to hang out with friends but come on, we can hang out at home too, right? It doesn't mean I'm anti-social, aite? I studied at a local university, a course that is not as popular as medicine or engineering or law. But I survived. I didn't work at a well-known company like my friends do, and I didn't make much in a month like they did. But I love my life. I love Allah, and He makes me stronger each day. I'm happy. So that's why I am wearing what I am wearing. I am practising a life Allah wants me to practise. Well, at least I'm trying to! Insha-Allah.

So if these facts draw you away from me, tell me, what can I do?

If me being me is not in your so-called cool-and-modern-life-dictionary, so be it!

You remind me of Dr. Tariq Ramadan:
"When I pretend to be strong, no one sees my hidden tears except Allah. When I'm sad and need a shoulder to cry on, no one supports me but Allah. PLEASING A HUMAN IS VERY DIFFICULT, PLEASING ALLAH IS THE EASIEST. People sometimes punish me for mistakes I have not done, Allah ignores and excuses the ones that I did. This is Allah, the Greatest, the Most Almighty, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful, and all praises belong to Him."

Skema, poyo, too Islamic, out-dated, kolot, bajet bagus?

I rather be worried of what Allah thinks of me, not of what you think I am.

So... Yeah... Just leave me if you want to. I'm here being a happy me and loving every minute of it. With the love and guidance from my God.

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